Friday, October 28, 2005

HIGH LIKE GIRAFFE ASS






The Pistons just want everyone to know that the road to San Antonio goes through Detroit. Get a trip-tik, duke. Now you may ask, Oh seer of seers, how will the Motown Get Along Gang continue to push their reign on the top beyond leprechaun proportions? Easy. Teamwork. When Carlos Arroyo got into a little bit of turkey-burger level beef with D-Notz last night, he got himself ejected. But you know what? The team stuck together like putty, toddlers. Check what this site's patron saint had to say:

"I don't know what happened, but I am sure he had his reasons. He didn't do it because he just felt like he wanted to get into it. But I am with him. I don't care what happened. If he felt like that, I felt like that."

One is reminded of the oft-used aphorism, "RIDE OR DIE." If Milwaukee had this kinda brotherhood they wouldn't even fucking need Jamaal Magloire! Love is the currency!





Another reason for the Pistons constant headlock application to the East is the crafty GM-manship of Joe Dumars. Looks like the God is going to lock up the services of Tayshaun Prince (he of, "THE THING ABOUT PRINCE IS THAT HE IS SO LONG" and "PRINCE HAS TREMENDOUS UPSIDE" fame). Shit runs so smoothly in the D that Dumars makes jokes about contract negotiations. He ambled up to Prince as the two were checking out of a hotel:

"I told him, 'You should pay this bill.' I had been on the phone with his agent all day."

Dumars continued:

"And pick up the tab for that mini-bar, too! Stoli Vanilla doesn't grow on trees. Although if I get any more of these rings I might just change the fucking game, go into agriculture and see if I can't fix that! I'm about to put your grandchildren's grandchildren through grad-school. This round's on you, baller."

Perhaps invigorated by the Prince-purchased Bloody Mary's, Dumars held court on the subject of Mike Dunleavy Jr., a small forward with similar time served as Prince, who is on the verge of getting 50 million from the Warriors. When asked if Dunleavy's huge contract could impact his negotiations with Prince, Dumars replied:

"Yo, Chris Mullin can give Opie whatever he wants. Chris Mullin got a fucking Angel Dust problem too. That mean I gotta get me one of them? I saw Baron Davis hobbling down the ave. in Oakland talking 'bout ain't no half steppin'. That dude has 8 power forwards and J-Rich. Come see me when you're playing in May, Cock-Knocker."






17 Comments:

At 2:15 PM, Blogger FEZ BEAR said...

What do you think of the "Robert Swif Factor" this year?

-Just curious

 
At 3:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

had to bring my dismal warriors into your detroit love fest didn't you... leave them be... the seer of seers should know that tmurph runs things in the town.

if you were smart, your next post would include the red "hot" wings, cuz hoops is so last. hockey is that new new.

-posted on east14th

 
At 3:51 PM, Blogger mayday said...

Guy, don't tease everybody with a couple of posts like everything's hunky-dory if you're just going to take a powder again. Be a man and level with us. If you're going to be gone again, temporary or permanent, tell us now, and for how long. Otherwise you'll be like the boy who cried wolf, the next time word of your wonderful comeback surfaces.

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger orpheus_sail said...

What Mayday said. Checking on this website when I know you're not going to be here is like watching old people eat.

 
At 11:48 AM, Anonymous donnie ocean said...

thirded...fuckin bummer broseph

 
At 10:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where is You?

 
At 1:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

never knew ya existed til a minute ago, so I don't care what you do with yourself-- show love to the Pistons, and you're my man. WORD. one post more like that one and you got an invite to christmas dinner.

 
At 5:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're killing me, man.

 
At 10:35 AM, Anonymous trevor said...

waiting for a chauncey billups update is like watching richard jefferson eat eggs with a white girl.

 
At 9:42 PM, Anonymous jayce said...

Lovin yo words, son. Keep goin, this blog is way more exciting than my boy Paul Shirley's gig.

 
At 11:07 PM, Blogger adam vanosdol said...

glad the blog is back, new jack

 
At 5:52 PM, Anonymous iceberg said...

fourthed, fifthed, etc. I was deleting obsolete links from my bookmarks and surprise! my favorite shit is back. don't go AWOL this season please.

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger zerlesen said...

I am sure that the Riley/SVG post that is (surely?) in the works will make the wait worthwhile. Meanwhile, though, Lakers coaches are apparently walking around Kwame Brown making cat noises. The season needs you, sir.

 
At 5:09 PM, Anonymous Justin said...

CHRIS, YOU SUCK THE SWEAT OFF A DEAD MAN'S BALLS. TAKE THE SITE DOWN ALREADY YOU PUNK B#$%&.

 
At 12:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rock my shit! Please. UPDATE.

 
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At 11:57 AM, Anonymous cassano said...

yo fuck this awesome hilarious shitty abandoned blog

 

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