LEAVE YA WITH A LARRY JOHNSON CREASE IN YOUR CAESAR
Shaq is taking his book of rhymes and he's movin' out! Lakers owner Jerry Buss, and GM Mitch Kupchak are apparently so enamored with young Kobe Bryant, his continental flair for poetry and his gentle touch with both the mid-range jumpers and the ladies (shut yo mouth!) that they are willing to say goodbye to the most dominant player in the NBA to keep Kobe from catching feelings.
Now, not to take a giant piss all over Mitch Kupchak's smores party, but has anyone mentioned to this dude that KOBE BRYANT MIGHT BE GOING TO OZ!?
meet your new roomie
Whether Diesel goes to Memphis, Indiana, New Jersey or across the hall of the Staples Center to the Clippers, you can bet your Black Card that the God is going to be playing next year with a serious case of the Vengeance-Is-Mine's.
While most of the end of the season speculation centered on where Kobe might hang his hat next year, this recent turn of events is not exactly coming out of nowhere.
Espn.com's Tom Friend has been sitting on some mesquite barbequed beef for half a season. Appears when Friend did his big STOP-THE-PRESSES-KOBE-ACTING-LIKE-MARIAH-CAREY story for Espn the Mag, he got Shaq to open up about his true feelings regarding the young Philadelphian:
""See, with me and Karl and Gary and a lot of other guys, you can say something and it doesn't matter how you say it. They don't take it the wrong way. For example, I can say, 'Come on, Devean, mother------, play hard.' I can say that to Karl. But a sensitive guy will take that very sensitively."
Shaq: I mean, one time, I ran up in Devean's house, at like, I don't know, 4 in the morning. And he was sleeping and I was like, standing over dude...watching him sleep. And suddenly I grabbed him and started screaming, I WILL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND! I WILL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND!!
Shaq: It's just those little nuances of the triangle offense...like running up in a dude's crib. Kobe was too softbatch to handle that shit.